July 26, 2010

So are we in this together?

My husband at dinner last night made the grandiose statement of "okay enough is enough , I need to get back in shape". I have heard him say he was getting back in shape a dozen times all with no results. He was always chubby and I have to admit that I kind like a chubby guy. Alas I was excited to hear this news because I know that doing the weight loss thing alone has been a failure and in all honesty I am kinda hoping that it can only improve our sex life..right? If I have a partner, my husband by my side admonishing each other during this journey I think we may very well have lasting results. So he has committed to using that much neglected gym membership and I saw him pack his gym clothes while getting ready this morning. I have not decided what I am going to do for an exercise routine but I know I have a slew of DVDs collecting dust. We both can no longer use the excuse of baby weight because well... hes not a little baby any more and it was a cope out originally anyways. So wish us luck as we keep each other in line, encourage each other when we are too tired to push it for 30 more minutes and giving each other the side eye when we reach for some cookies at 10 pm.

July 25, 2010

Welcome to the new view and oh yeah, a rocking giveaway.


So I have taken a little hiatus, while my blog was being redesigned by the fabulous, creative blog savior Laura Jane. I just threw a few pics her way and a VERY broad idea of what I wanted and she created this. She has a knack for what she does and is now number 1 on my referral list. I love it and it really fits me so perfectly. If your looking to reinvent yourself, look like a million bucks but not spend a million she is YOUR girl, go run and check her out.  http://laurajanedesigns.blogspot.com/  Okay enough singing her praises but I really could go on. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

Okay so a couple of weeks ago I had received an e-mail from an anonymous reader who said that they would read more often if I did less fluff pieces and something more real and meaty. I never thought I was fluff but I looked through my archives and ...yeah I'm a little fluffy. I find it hard to blog honestly and as grotesque as I want to be sometimes because people read this, that I may not want to be burdened by my rough edge writing. So right now I am writing a disclaimer. There may be some things here in the future that may not be so puppies and rainbows. Things that will leave me open for judgment and paint a more realistic picture on my thought process through marriage, motherhood and everything between which I am realizing is less and less these days. Now what is my first blog nitty gritty post... I have no idea but please don't hate me if its pictures of our new dog! ::shamed::

Now for a very exciting giveaway which I know EVERYONE can love. My brand new obsession


I will be giving away one Rockin Green detergent or Pail freshener of the winners choice. I have tried a few different detergents for my cloth diapers and they were all OKAY but nothing really stood out and worked. This product has done both. A scented detergent, that is free of dyes, chemicals, enzymes. It works on the most sensitive butt and the hardest waters. I really love the concept behind this product and the results that live up to the name. The site is very informative and can answers anything you can think of regarding wash.  
Now our family has a front loading HE washer and dryer and we have always used an HE free and clear detergent but we are switching primarily to Rockin Green for ALL our laundry. We love the scents and my husband is very grateful for the pail freshener in Smashing Watermelons, its smells deliciously edible and edible is not exactly what one thinks when thinking of a "wet bag"

 Mandatory entry- Visit Rockin Green detergent and tell me what product you would like if you win. That's it. Must be done for additional entries to be counted

Extra Entries-
                       - Tweet this giveaway
                          RockinGreen Detergent Giveaway http://nicolesspirit878.blogspot.com/                           One tweet per day- leave separate comment for each tweet.

                      -Tell me a topic you would like me to blog about (one entry)
                      -Join my fabulous new blog. 
                      -Join me on twitter (button on top of the page)
Giveaway ends 7/31 at midnight and the winner will be chosen at random through random.org

Its that easy. Good luck and check out my new favorites   

July 9, 2010

Sitting in the grass with fluffy butt!


This child has tested my mothering abilities more than my other two ever had as a infant and baby. He is often demanding, is VERY attached to me and only me, did not sleep for 7 months and still does not take good naps.I could keep going but really most of it is your normal run of the mill parenting struggles. Every morning when he stand up in his crib smiles and jumps up and down, all of my stress melts away. When he tries to give me kisses and I have drool running down my cheek, all of my worries melt away. When he cuddles with me before bedtime, playing with my hair and looking in my eyes not a thing in this world could ever be more important. He is proof your heart can bust at the seams with love.

July 7, 2010

Who's better Working mom or Stay at home mom? Part 1

Well first off let me say that with the blogspehere on fire with this question lately I have yet to read a post that is not biased but desperately trying to make one or the other group feel bad. All of them have been and everyone has an agenda they would like to get across and that's fine but don't disguise it as "I'm a blessed stay at home mom" and sum it up with I could never work, not that there is anything wrong with that. We can all hear the judging under tones. There also have been a lot of "I work, still do the laundry and raise a happy baby" holier than thou statements and I know that's a bunch of BS too.
Now will this post be completely unbiased? Probably not but I'm not going to lie and say that it is because blogs should be about saying what ever you want and who cares if a couple people stop following you.
I have done the working mother thing and I have done the stay at home thing. Which is better? When my first son was born I had to go back to work at 6 weeks even after he was in NICU for 2 and I had a c-section I was not ready for that at all. I went to work 2nd shift and my husband at the time worked 1st. We traded off baby and I worked close enough (walking distance) that he would bring him in to my work to breastfeed because I refused to give that up so soon and I really thought that I was super mom. A mere month later all that stopped when my work suffered or I could no longer get away and I pumped when I could but the bottle was inevitable. My husbands and I's relationship dissolved and looking back I can't even pinpoint the main problem. Blame it on age, blame it one work but apparently no one wanted to work hard enough on the marriage and I moved out. So I was doing the single mom thing and that kicked my ass. There are many moments of his first years I don't even remember and it was because I was working all the time and between split custody I just plain ol missed out on them. Did I have a choice but to work? No. I had to work but I still felt so guilty. Many women say "why do you feel guilty? women have worked hard to get where we are and you should take advantage of the education and career options you have, make your children proud". I still felt guilty, and I would still change it if I could and I could not explain it away or justify it. It plain sucks to drop your kid off to daycare to have someone else feed, change and play with them so that you can work and barely pay that bill alone. It was a catch 22 and I felt bad everyday. Now when I had my daughter I was back in a relationship but the worse one imaginable and I worked and I felt ridiculously guilty this time as well. I made good money, my hours sucked and I got home in time to do everything domestic, do my part in parenting and it started all over again before I had a chance to breath. Working mothers say how that you can have it all and I have to disagree, whenever you have more than one working mother in a room with another, the conversation will turn to how hard it is to leave them and the guilt they sometimes feel. Do they say they want to stay home NO and for good reason because that's not awesome either all the time. Some people have great jobs, they worked very hard to get and they do "want it all" so they juggle as best they can but that is what they are doing juggling. You can set up an Army regimented schedule for everyone to follow and you can work, cook dinner, clean the house, do the shopping, have a relationship with your significant other, sleep and be a good parent BUT and yes there is a but because in my years of doing the working mom thing I felt like I was BARELY doing all of those, yes I did them and yes I was good at what I was doing and to the outside world I looked like I was really holding it together but honestly I felt like I was walking the thinnest line and one little breeze could throw it all spiraling out of control. The guilt that would occur after realizing that I COULD NOT spend as much time as I wanted on the kids or Fill in the blank was overwhelming. I was committed and unfortunately I was committed to my job first and if many mothers are honest you are too because you cant just call in day after day to take your child's needs first without losing said job and you can't just leave when you want if they get sick instead you sit at your desk dialing a bunch of numbers to figure out who can get there instead of you because you HAVE to stay. I felt like this and I don't think many mothers explain this feeling well enough to future working mothers. To the mothers that have the choice to work not have to work you are in a different realm because you no that you can take it or leave it you had to but being cornered in your working status is a very taxing feeling. Its hard, Its stressful and its demanding. I am saying this even if you have some great job you love, I would assume you still would feel this pull. Now not all situations are the same. I worked 40+ hours a week and at one point I had an hour commute both ways, I worked some weekends and holidays. Those things really add to the hard task of working with kids. Now after I said all of that, even in my guilt to drop them off at the sitter at God awful early hours, there where days I was happy to go to work and I dreaded coming home (no one saw that coming)I knew how much work awaited me at home and at work at least I had a set schedule of what needed done and after a very long day of working knowing that you are going home to everyone NEEDING you, physically and emotionally was mentally draining to prepare for and there where many days I was not prepared and I got by, by going through the motions and it is to this day the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
I have realized that I am now making this a 2 parter because there is too much to read here as it is. I'm looking forward to the comments and I'm sure some will be a shame on you but remember I said before this is not unbiased and I still don't think I have joined a side on this debate. Stay tuned for part 2 in a day or so.

July 2, 2010

Our vacation and hurricane Alex

So we booked our vacation for Riviera Maya 2 months ago and we counted down everyday till we left. We arrived in Mexico on Thursday and it was beautiful weather, the resort was fabulous and the food was PHENOMENAL. We booked an adults only resort and I'll tell you if your traveling without kids that is the way to go, no screaming, no splashing at the pool, and no complaining in the restaurants.
It was all 5-star treatment the whole time we were there and between 8 restaurants, 5 bars we were a very indulged couple the whole time. Little did we know that hurricane Alex also wanted to go on vacation in Mexico and everyday after our first day there was full of extreme winds, and sideways rain but it did not stop us from sitting in that hot tub ordering drinks. It was still 80+ degrees out so us Michiganders didn't hesitate and let the big bad hurricane stop us from enjoying it. Many tourist stayed inside playing Monoploy but we opted out of being losers and stuck it out.
 The picture above is me thinking taking a shot of Sake would be good, the next picture is of me trying to not vomit up said Sake.
We did hit up the spa a couple days and there is nothing better than getting a couples massage and then still be on vacation after. We met a fabulous crew of people and did almost everything together. Our room was amazing, and i am going to pre-apologize to parents and parent like figures in my life for the next statement but vacation sex is truly awesome and was much needed. We connected to home by Facebook and internet. My lovely sister nannied for us the whole time, which gave us such a safe feeling about everything back home. So we left the morning that Hurricane Alex passed the Yucatan by and we flew out in gorgeous weather.
In the end though we were completely ready to go home to our babes.