I'm not doing this ALL for me.

I used to be that chick and I still have my moments where if  there was a big lady walking and wearing way too tight of clothing  and rocking a camel toe like a Grammy I was the first to comment on how I would never allow myself to get that big or wear such inappropriate clothing. Well Karma is a bitch because all too often I now find myself showing ass crack for all to see because I'm in some loop hole in the universe where my butt is either to big to fit in the jeans or the jeans are too loose and either way the result is me showing off my crack. Completely embarrassing! I used to have a staple of tank tops and shorts for summer and now the shorts cut my circulation off and the tank tops are made of Lycra or something because they cling to me like I'm in some wet t-shirt contest. I never thought I would be "that girl" but it didn't take much to get "there" and most days I don't think I look that bad at all. So all of those times where I judged someone based on their outfit I am fully reaping what I sowed.
My sister the skinniest person alive and 17 informed me the other day how her and her boyfriend where holding back from vomiting when a lady in a bikini top bent over and she had all kinds of stomach fat rolls smooshing together. Yeah, to realize that I am probably going to be the butt of someones joke (no pun intended) is sad but deserved since I used to do it.
Everyone always says how "I'm losing weight for me", but if we are honest we are ALSO doing it because we want to look like a hot mom at the pool, we want our husbands to look at us like he did at our wedding, or simply to buy the clothes off the rack and not have to dig through the bottom shelves where they keep "the fat clothes". I fully admit that I am not trying to lose weight for myself, I am trying to lose weight for many other silly reasons which put much unnecessary stress on myself but I think we all do that!
The other day at the lake with the kids while I am fully clothed sitting in my lounge chair knitting, I checked out this girl that was swimming with her boyfriend (we also have to admit we totally check out other chicks). I started thinking to  myself "God I would kill for those thighs" the kind that won't wear out a pair of jeans if worn for 5 hours. Then I thought "Why do I not have a stomach you can bounce a coin off of?" I was thinking all these depressing thoughts till I over hear them saying "I'm so excited next year we get to go to Junior prom". Switch over to me with my mouth wide open and then I was thinking "What the hell?, I'm dying to look like a 16 year old?" That thought put it all in perspective. This girl has barley hit puberty, has not had thee babies, has not breastfed three babies, is not in her late 20's. So why should I expect to look like that?  The answer is easy... I WILL NEVER LOOK LIKE A 16 YEAR OLD. I think I'm okay with that now because  I'm pretty darn normal for what I have done and for that I have to be grateful, or at least I'm trying.